A few things that I'm grateful for in 2019:

1. Family and friends - As cliche as it sounds, it was one of my goals for 2019 to spend as much time with them. I felt like I was making up for lost time in the previous years that I took them for granted. But this year I can say that I definitely achieved that goal. I went to every family/friend occasion and would consistently make plans. It made me realise how lucky I am to have them in my life. I found this quote on pinterest 'you fall in love with the people who make you love the person you are when you're around them', they bring out the best in me and I love how I feel after spending a day with them. So here's a little reminder: appreciate those who love you.
   
   
2. Knowing my worth - I struggled for years with this but when I look back, I can see how much I've grown. Back then I would settle for the worst because I didn't know what I deserved. After encountering a few people this year, I knew what I wanted and what I would settle for and so I would walk away from anything that wasn't good for me. Despite making a few silly mistakes, I'm proud of how strong I am and how far I've come in terms of self-love. But loving myself will always be a work in progress and I am willing to learn as much as I can about myself along the way.
   
   
3. Meeting new people - Stepping into a new work environment I met a bunch of beautiful people who I am forever grateful for. I've never met a team that is so kind, caring and brings out the best in me. I think they made me a better person and they made the idea of coming into work fun!
   
   
4. Appreciating myself physically - I wouldn't say I'm the type of person with a lot of self-confidence and I hardly ever compliment myself. But this year, I've learnt to appreciate my natural 'beauty' by doing less (little to no makeup, having my hair natural etc.) and it actually feels good. Not to sound vain or anything, but once you learn to stop picking at your flaws and just appreciating them you'll see yourself differently and it projects to how others see you. So smile because you're beautiful! 

Much love, Jen.

Current mindset

I've honestly cut out people who don't bring any value to my life. I have zero patience for time-wasters or people who make me feel less than I deserve (not saying that there's a lot of people making me feel that way) but every now and then you come across them.

Life has been sweet ever since I've adopted this mindset. Stay focused and keep on growing. Effort pays off in the time :) Just felt like having a little vent, enjoy the long weekend my loves.

Much love,  Jen.

Design Studio 1

The first semester of studying interior design done and dusted! Although I only did one subject this semester, it was nice and refreshing to be studying something I actually enjoy. I didn't dread doing assignments, it was more so exciting! I loved being able to think creatively and to feel a sense of achievement after finishing the final product. Assessment one and two required us to manipulate and experiment with four different types of materials: paper, plastic, wood and fabric. For assessment three, we were able to choose the materials we want to use for our final sculpture. I decided to use fabric and wood. The inspiration behind this model came from re-creating my favourite piece of furniture and how it makes me feel. 

The story behind my final product represents a minimalistic and elegant bedroom space. Many people tend to clean when they’re stressed and sometimes having fewer things can make you feel more at ease and relaxed. Therefore, I decided to keep it very minimal with white crisp bed sheets and a decorative plant to bring life to the room. I wanted to capture the idea of a soft, cozy and warm bed that makes you want to fall into a deep sleep. The colour palette I used such as the light baby blue for the headboard and the white bed sheets symbolises this story.

I'm quite proud with how it turned out, considering I only had two weeks to create it. Design studio was a great start to the semester and having a wonderful tutor was a bonus. I'm a bit nervous for next semester as I'll be taking four subjects and I'm not sure what to expect, but I hope I continue to love it. I thought I'd document the process of studying (again) and compare the difference to how I felt before.

Hope you have all had a lovely autumn, stay warm this winter!

Much love, Jen.

Babbling

I'm about to start something new and to be completely honest... I am so scared. I tend to have a lot of self doubt, sometimes, even to the point where I eventually give up. But I'm really hoping this is what I've been searching for and I guess the only way I can find out is if I give it a try!

An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail.

This quote reassures me that it's okay to fail... I guess time can only tell if it's right for me.

Fingers crossed I fall in love with it and if I don't it's okay there's plenty of other opportunities to discover!

Much love, Jen.

Wine not?

Good morning, woke up, made tea and here I am sitting on the dining table typing away. I've been wanting to document the highlights of my Hunter Valley trip, so I'll start in chronological order of what I did (but maybe won't go into too much detail).

Visiting Hunter Valley has been on my to-do list for quite some time. Ever since my aunty moved there, I've been wanting to visit her new place but my family was always busy and our schedules would always clash. One day I was sitting at Starbucks with a family friend looking at flights to Japan (lol yes Japan, I am 100% going back) and we realised we had the following Monday and Tuesday off and of course our question to each other was "what should we do?". We decided on Hunter Valley and from there we started to plan our itinerary.

We left early morning on Monday the 28th and arrived there at around lunch time. Our first stop was the Hunter Valley Chocolate Company. I had this image of some bizarre over the top chocolate wonderland, where you could see how the chocolates are made (ok, in other words I imagined Charlie and the Chocolate Factory lol). But when we got there I was slightly disappointed to see that it was just a normal chocolate shop that was a little overpriced. We left empty handed and headed to our next destination.

We randomly stopped at a vineyard because we had to use the toilets and this placed ended up being my favourite!!! The vineyard was called Hungerford Hill. It ended up being our first stop for wine tasting and it did not disappoint. I'm a sucker for sweet wines, I tried their 'Early Bird Moscato 2018' and fell in love.

The next stop was Hunter Distillery (known for their vodka samples). I already knew I'd love this place after hearing all the hype about it. It was a great experience, I had no idea vodka had so many different flavours and they were surprisingly good, just saying, because I'm not a huge vodka fan. I ended up buying a honeydew melon liqueur, it's similar to midori, probably why I loved the taste.

At this point, the alcohol was starting to hit me. We had around 10 samples of vodka and previous to that we had probably 5 samples of wine at Hungerford Hill. It was time for lunch at Tempus Two to absorb all that alcohol, but we had a small pitt stop at a vineyard and took some photos.

Driving around Hunter Valley was beautiful, it's pretty much all vineyards and we were blessed with a clear day but 40 degree temperatures. Once we arrived at Tempus Two, we decided to have another wine tasting since it was near the restaurant (bad idea). After the wine tasting, you could say I was drunk, mind you it was probably around 1pm lol. While I was sitting in the restaurant everything was spinning and my words were starting to slur (at this moment, I regretted drinking all that wine). After a few good hours, I was sober and back at it the wine tasting. We visited Brokenwood Vines, Hunter Valley Smelly Cheese and Scarborough Wine Co was our last stop for the day.

The next day we booked a helicopter ride for 11am. It was my first time going on a helicopter and I wasn't nervous at all? I'm not really afraid of heights, if anything I'm an adrenaline junkie! It was beautiful and I'm glad I got to experience it. Next on my bucket list is a hot air balloon. Our last stop for the trip was Hunter Valley Gardens. It was a very hot day so we couldn't throughly enjoy the place but I managed to a get a few pretty pictures of the place.

It was a wonderful trip. I plan to visit my aunty again soon (maybe when it's not as hot). I am also so grateful for her hospitality and for always looking after me! This is probably one of my longest posts and to be honest I was getting tired lol. I forgot to mention a few look-out spots we visited but anyway, I hope this post inspired you to visit Hunter Valley too, Have a lovely Sunday!

Much love, Jen.

Music to my ears, literally

Hi blog. It's been a while... I've had all these blog post ideas but I've been putting them off (sorry). I just came back from Hunter Valley and it was a trip I never knew I needed. Despite the unbearable heat, it was a lovely getaway (I'll go more into detail for a separate post). Anyway, one day I was cleaning my room and put a playlist of random covers on YouTube and I came across this girl's cover of "Can't Take My Eye's Off You". First of all, I love that song and second of all... WOW. Best cover ever! I'm obsessed with her voice combined with the simplicity of the ukulele. I have officially found my new relaxing playlist. Check her out! Here's a few of my favourites:

Much love, Jen.

New year, better me!

2018 holds a very special place in my heart. It was a wonderful journey of self discovery and self love. For years I struggled to know my worth and what I deserved and after spending time on my own, I finally learnt how to love myself unconditionally. I focused on surrounding myself with people who brought out the best in me and to let go of things (and people) who no longer add value to my life. It was a year full of laughter and smiles, which is why I am also grateful for all the difficult obstacles I had to experience in order to be where I am today.

I became a stronger person this year and I could tell I was reaching my peak of happiness. It fills my heart with joy thinking about my family, friends and all the new people I've met along the way, and how each and everyone of them have made a positive impact on my growth. This year will forever be my favourite.

If you're still reading this far, I hope you had an amazing year and wish you nothing but happiness for the next.

Much love, Jen.

A Star Is Born

I watched A Star Is Born last night and... wow... just wow! I heard a lot of good things about the movie and I even looked it up on IMDB to check its rating (as I always do before I watch a movie lol). It lived up to its expectations and I left the cinema with swollen eyes and an empty packet of tissues. One of the best movies I've seen this year, actually I think it's my favourite movie of 2018! My favourite movie of 2017 was obviously The Greatest Showman... anyone that knows me will know that.

I really appreciate movies with good soundtracks and A Star Is Born killed it! I can't get over how raw and emotional the movie was. Can we also just appreciate how amazing Lady Gaga's acting skills are and her mind blowing vocals!!! Don't get me wrong I used to listen to her back in the days, but her genre was electronic dance music, and it was very different in the film to see her sing without all the extra noise. She's amazing and I have so much more respect for her!

Bradley Cooper is incredibly talented - his voice, his acting, the way he directed the movie. What a beautiful man. I'm obsessed with this movie and knowing me I'll probably watch it again in the cinemas and buy it on DVD. I haven't written a post in a while and I was honestly so excited to rave about it on here. I'll insert a video of my favourite song from the movie. The lyrics are spot on and I kinda just want to cry and have it on repeat every day.

Tell me somethin', girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for?
I'm fallin'
In all the good times
I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times, I fear myself

I sound like a massive movie critic but please go watch it, it's 100% worth it!

Much love, Jen.

Current room inspo

Lately I've been feeling the urge to change up my room (again). I blame pinterest! Whenever I scroll through it I get all these new ideas and save them for later. It eventually builds up and I end up having this entire list of decor I want to buy. For a few months I've actually been satisfied with the way my room looked. I would describe it as minimalist and chic. But I think it's time to add a few more accent pieces and I've been really feeling the boho look, such as woven baskets and rugs, plants, macrame wall hangings etc. I'll show you what I mean by inserting pictures of the things I hope to get soon.

1. Himalayan salt lamp

2. Macrame wall hanging pattern

3. Woven baskets

4. New bedding ( this is absolute goals)

The last two images were from - my.burleigh.reno on Instagram. I adore her style and I hope one day I can decorate my dream home with as much passion as she does. For now I'll just keep decorating my very tiny space of a room.

Much love, Jen.

Spring has sprung

Well thank god winter is over! As much as I enjoyed sleeping in the cold all snuggled up, it was starting to get a little depressing staying indoors majority of the time. Winter flew by so quickly and I'm glad I accomplished a few of my goals within those 3 months. I finally got an internship in my field and it's great that I'm getting a feel of what it's like and whether its a career I want to continue to pursue in the future. So far I can see myself staying in marketing and progressing, everyday is different and I like creating content and using my creativity. I also picked up a pole dancing class and I actually really enjoyed it! I'm still waiting for my gym membership to end so I can start going to pole regularly (because it ain't cheap).

And so spring is here and we're half way through September already... I can already tell summer is going to be crazy hot! The other day was 30 degrees and I couldn't help but feel soooo happy. It felt amazing feeling the warm sun and being able to wear dresses again. I cannot wait for more outdoor adventures. There's so many thing I want to do and now I can start planning to do them :)

This post doesn't exactly have a purpose, just a mini life update since I'm trying to write at least twice a month. All I can say is life has been swell and there's so many more things to look forward to in spring! Note* my 24th birthday is actually coming up too so here's to growing up and becoming wiser! Stay tuned for my next post (a list of places I want to visit sometime in the near future).

Much love, Jen.

Nothing but love

I feel incredibly blessed and happy with where I am mentally and emotionally in life right now. When you've been through the worst, you eventually learn how to pick yourself up and things suddenly become clear. A year ago, I was a completely different person... I felt hopeless, insecure and incredibly depressed because I felt like I lost the girl who I once was. After spending so much time on my own and being surrounded by the people that genuinely love and care about me, it was as if I finally felt like myself again. I was this happy, bubbly, glowing girl that never needed anyone but myself to feel loved!

I'm getting a little emotional writing this, but I am so grateful for my family and friends for never giving up on me, especially my parents. They had to see their daughter go through the worst and I feel so bad for putting them through that because no parent wants to see their daughter sad. And to my friends who always reminded me that I deserved the very best, I would never have gotten to where I am now without your love and support.

Life will never be perfect but it's the days where you feel grateful and content that makes it worthwhile. I may not be where I want to be in life right now, but I've always told myself baby steps... you don't need to accomplish everything all at once. It takes time. And to me being mentally and emotionally happy is my first accomplishment! Everyday I'm learning. And there's still so much more for me to learn. I've learnt that finding yourself takes time and we humans will always be a work in progress.

So this post is to remind me that I am doing so well and to keep pushing further and to not be too hard on myself because I will accomplish great things in the future!

Much love, Jen.

Sunrise

On the 31st of July I watched my first sunrise of 2018. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while but never came around to doing it... because 1.) I'm not really a morning person and 2.) I value my sleep, but I figured this one time will be an exception. My last memory of watching a sunrise was in primary school with my best friends. This was probably around 2005 which was a long long time ago - over a decade to be exact lol. I remember sleeps overs were a big deal in primary school, it was exciting and it meant no sleep just girl talk. And that's what we did... talked all night till it was eventually the morning. I vividly remember looking at the clock and telling the girls it was almost 5am. So we got our blankets, sat on the trampoline in the backyard and huddled up together watching the sunrise. It's a cute and innocent memory that I'll always remember.

Back to the present, the walk to Hornby Lighthouse was calming and refreshing. You're given a view of the beautiful ocean and once you're uphill you can see everything! I enjoyed it even though I was half asleep, it was most definitely worth it waking up at 5am. I sat on the rock in silence and just watched the sun glisten on the ocean. I felt at peace for the first time in days and for a moment it was as if all my worries were gone. Thank you mother nature for blessing this world with such beauty.

It was a beautiful morning and I'm glad I have another memory of watching the sunrise that I can cherish.

Much love, Jen.

Japan Diaries

It has almost been a year since I went to Japan and there hasn't been a day that has gone by where I haven't thought about it. I miss the culture, the food, the people and overall the feeling of excitement I'd get when I'm in a different country. I wish I wrote a blog post earlier to document my days but to be completely honest everyday in japan was a highlight and there was no dull moment! When people asked me how my holiday was, I would immediately light up with a smile and go on and on about how amazing and incredible it was and then I'd pressure them to visit Japan ASAP! 

I feel incredibly lucky to have travelled and experienced new things and it's a memory I'll never forget. As much as I'd love to go back and explore Japan, the downside is that it is pretty expensive (not unless you budget) but I had no self control when it came to food and don quijote. Trying different types of food is a MUST in Japan, from their fresh takoyaki, to their delicious matcha soft serves and you can't forget their mouth watering ramen. Ah... I'm sad all over again. There's just so many things to do in Japan that you'll never get bored. 

And so here I am, sitting in a Starbucks reminiscing my favourite holiday and almost about to cry because I'd rather be in the blazing heat eating matcha ice-cream and chasing geishas. I'll be back Japan, sooner or later! 

Much love, Jen.

Single (not) ready to mingle

It's been a while since I've written something so I thought I'd take sometime out of the day to sit down and write what's been on my mind. Lately, I've been having a lot of alone time and I'm loving it! When I say alone I mean not being involved with anyone or speaking to anyone, just being... well... single I guess? I decided to take as much time as I can to be on my own and enjoy my own presence. Even if it means turning down potential partners, I've learnt that it's okay to say no to people and to place myself first. Even if they could be the right person for me, I wouldn't want to waste anyone's time especially if I'm not fully committed to getting to know them romantically right now.

Love is a beautiful thing. Being in a relationship is beautiful too (if it's healthy of course). I guess I'm just at this stage where I feel like I can't give someone love until I can fully love myself, sounds a little cliche but that's how it is. When I'm interested in someone I've noticed I put in a lot of effort and time to the point where sometimes I forget about myself. Some cases I've been taken advantage of and friends always say "you're too nice". But that's besides the point, I think I just haven't met the right person that reciprocates the same amount of love as I do. It's so important to not settle for less than you deserve because life's too short and you should be with someone that loves you unconditionally. Here's a little quote that resonates well with this post:

"I hope you have a relationship thats real for once and you are sure of where you are in their life. I hope you're not a distraction or a past time or something to be used. But a love, a sweetheart, a muse. I hope you are something to somebody and that they are just as crazy about you as you are for them" 

I've had a lot of moments where I questioned where I stand in someones life and it's not the best feeling but that's already a sign you deserve better. So don't stress if you have to let go of some people, have faith there's something better out there for you! I understand how some people feel a little pressured to find someone especially when they're getting older. My only advice is to enjoy the time you have alone because you will learn a lot about yourself and that will help when you're ready for a relationship. I've learnt how to be a better daughter, sister, cousin and friend to important people in my life and it feels rewarding to be surrounded by people that bring out the best in me.

So make plans with your friends, do what you love and enjoy every second of this time being alone! I'd like to think that being your best self will attract the right person.

Much love, Jen.

Different timelines

The other night I caught up with a good friend over coffee... well actually frappes. We had this talk about where we were going in life and how sometimes we feel lost. I could relate to what he was saying because for years I never had time to focus on myself, there were so many chaotic things happening that I lost sight of what I wanted for my future. We compared our lives to other people such as our close friends and how they were successful in their career at a young age. After sulking for quite a bit and feeling down, we both came to the conclusion that it's okay that we haven't achieved what we wanted yet, because we're all living on different timelines.

Even though it's hard to not compare your life to others, it's important to remind yourself that we don't follow the same timeline. Other people may be successful early, and you might be a little slower than others but that's perfectly okay. I realised that we can't judge others based on their successes because what you have might be something they lack. Also, they worked hard for where they are so don't feel sorry for yourself instead see them as inspiration to work harder. I'm guilty of putting myself down and feeling like I'm left behind. I tend to think "I'm trying my best but why haven't I gotten anywhere yet?". I think it all has to do with timing. We experience different things at different times in our lives. What's meant to be in my life will come at a time that I'm ready for it.

There's all this pressure in society to land a good job, be in a relationship, get married, have kids, buy a house and so on. We're constantly bombarded with these ideal lifestyles on social media that we feel pressured to achieve all these things by a certain age. However, I've warmed up to the idea of taking my time and being patient with finding my career. There's only so much I can do and my number one priority this year is myself.

Much love, Jen.

What is your type?

A question that I've been thinking about and finally came up with an answer. First of all, the inspiration behind this question came from a reality television show called Terrace House. If you haven't seen it, it's basically a Japanese version of big brother (but more conservative lol). This is the first question the housemates would ask each other when meeting. I thought it was pretty weird to ask straight away but some of them were there to find love and others "a love worth dying for"... you'll only get that reference if you've seen the show. Anyway, I thought to myself wow I wouldn't know how to answer that question because I've never really had a specific type.

Reflecting on my past, I've fallen for guys that only knew how to sweet talk their way to my heart and I never thought of what characteristics I'd like in a person until now. As you get older, time becomes more precious and I think it's important to have some sort of standards. You're not going to date someone that treats you bad, you would want someone kind and caring (that's just an obvious example). So after some thought, I came down to 3 personality traits that are sort of deal breakers for me in the future:

1. Considerate of others
Someone that thinks about the rights and feelings of other people. It doesn't have to be just towards me but how they treat everyone around them as well - family, friends, a complete stranger.

2. Selfless
Someone concerned with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own; unselfish. This is really important to me because I admire people that are selfless. I feel as though you should do things for others without the intention of wanting something in return.

3. Family oriented 
My family means the world to me and in the future someone will eventually be apart of mine. It's important to me to have someone that values their family whether it be showing respect or spending time with them... will mean they will do the same with my family too.

There's a few more I could add but realistically speaking these are the most important to me. I'm not going to write a list of physical qualities because I've learnt that you may have the looks but do you have a good heart? And that's a wrap. If someone ever asks me what my type is I can confidently say - someone that is considerate of others, is selfless and family oriented.

Much love, Jen.

Rollercoaster

This song has been on repeat for almost a month now so I thought I'd share it with you guys! I was driving to work one day and this song randomly played on a Spotify playlist I was listening to. I immediately fell in love with her voice. I have to say this is only one of my favourites from Mahalia, all her songs are beautifully well-written and give happy vibes.



I've been feeling like I'm on a rollercoaster 
And I never wanna come down...
I wanna stay high up above the ground 
You bring the best in me out... 

Much love, Jen.

Begin Again

As my first post I thought I'd reflect on some important lessons I've learnt during some difficult times. I've come a long way in understanding the process of being self-aware and the importance of self-love. So here are 10 pieces of advice I wish I had listened to in the past/ still am constantly reminding myself in the present.

1. Heartbreak does not last forever 

I promise you, it might hurt now but it does get better. As cliche as it sounds... it's true. It took me years to learn this lesson and now I can confidently say that I understand why people would tell me this over and over. Just be patient and take your time. Cry it all out if it helps and then pick yourself up again. 

2. Don't settle for less

Whether it be a job, partner or whatever life has to offer, keep searching for something that truly makes you happy. Don't.Settle.For.Less! 

3. Know your worth

If someone makes you feel anything less than you deserve, leave! That is my only advice. Don't look back. Leave. If I could slap my past self  I would but instead I just laugh at how silly I was. It's a good feeling though realising how much I've grown and matured. 

4. Accept that people will leave your life

This is something I am proud of myself for being able to do. I've come to a point in my life where if someone leaves I will not ask them to stay. There's no point in begging for someone to stay, who decided to leave on their own... right?

5. Don't fill your heart with hatred
You will come across people in your life who will hurt you, but at the end of the day don't waste your time feeling bitter or negative towards them. Let the moment pass and move on from it because there are far more better things to fill your heart with.

6. "Being the better person" 
I'm not sure what being the better person means but for me I was always thought it meant forgiving someone that may have hurt you and allowing them back into your life. I've realised you don't always have to be the better person in every situation. It's okay to not want to forgive and you shouldn't have to feel the need to consider other peoples feelings especially if they don't consider yours.

7. Priorities
Always prioritise yourself first. I don't mean that in a selfish, inconsiderate stuck-up way. I mean it in a way where you shouldn't bend over backwards for other people to meet their needs. You have needs too so don't forget about yourself.

8. Care, but not too much
I've always had the problem of caring too much. It's just who I am as a person and it's something I'm trying to learn how to balance. It's great to care about people, but as the famous quote says "not everyone has the same heart as you", so you may end up disappointed.

9. Perfectly imperfect
We make mistakes after all we're only human. No one's perfect so don't try to be. In my case I've said a lot of things I didn't mean and I'm learning to forgive myself. Just always try to have the best intentions at heart.

10. You are enough!
You are more than enough. You do not need someone else's validation to prove your worth!

Much love, Jen.