Different timelines

The other night I caught up with a good friend over coffee... well actually frappes. We had this talk about where we were going in life and how sometimes we feel lost. I could relate to what he was saying because for years I never had time to focus on myself, there were so many chaotic things happening that I lost sight of what I wanted for my future. We compared our lives to other people such as our close friends and how they were successful in their career at a young age. After sulking for quite a bit and feeling down, we both came to the conclusion that it's okay that we haven't achieved what we wanted yet, because we're all living on different timelines.

Even though it's hard to not compare your life to others, it's important to remind yourself that we don't follow the same timeline. Other people may be successful early, and you might be a little slower than others but that's perfectly okay. I realised that we can't judge others based on their successes because what you have might be something they lack. Also, they worked hard for where they are so don't feel sorry for yourself instead see them as inspiration to work harder. I'm guilty of putting myself down and feeling like I'm left behind. I tend to think "I'm trying my best but why haven't I gotten anywhere yet?". I think it all has to do with timing. We experience different things at different times in our lives. What's meant to be in my life will come at a time that I'm ready for it.

There's all this pressure in society to land a good job, be in a relationship, get married, have kids, buy a house and so on. We're constantly bombarded with these ideal lifestyles on social media that we feel pressured to achieve all these things by a certain age. However, I've warmed up to the idea of taking my time and being patient with finding my career. There's only so much I can do and my number one priority this year is myself.

Much love, Jen.

What is your type?

A question that I've been thinking about and finally came up with an answer. First of all, the inspiration behind this question came from a reality television show called Terrace House. If you haven't seen it, it's basically a Japanese version of big brother (but more conservative lol). This is the first question the housemates would ask each other when meeting. I thought it was pretty weird to ask straight away but some of them were there to find love and others "a love worth dying for"... you'll only get that reference if you've seen the show. Anyway, I thought to myself wow I wouldn't know how to answer that question because I've never really had a specific type.

Reflecting on my past, I've fallen for guys that only knew how to sweet talk their way to my heart and I never thought of what characteristics I'd like in a person until now. As you get older, time becomes more precious and I think it's important to have some sort of standards. You're not going to date someone that treats you bad, you would want someone kind and caring (that's just an obvious example). So after some thought, I came down to 3 personality traits that are sort of deal breakers for me in the future:

1. Considerate of others
Someone that thinks about the rights and feelings of other people. It doesn't have to be just towards me but how they treat everyone around them as well - family, friends, a complete stranger.

2. Selfless
Someone concerned with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own; unselfish. This is really important to me because I admire people that are selfless. I feel as though you should do things for others without the intention of wanting something in return.

3. Family oriented 
My family means the world to me and in the future someone will eventually be apart of mine. It's important to me to have someone that values their family whether it be showing respect or spending time with them... will mean they will do the same with my family too.

There's a few more I could add but realistically speaking these are the most important to me. I'm not going to write a list of physical qualities because I've learnt that you may have the looks but do you have a good heart? And that's a wrap. If someone ever asks me what my type is I can confidently say - someone that is considerate of others, is selfless and family oriented.

Much love, Jen.

Rollercoaster

This song has been on repeat for almost a month now so I thought I'd share it with you guys! I was driving to work one day and this song randomly played on a Spotify playlist I was listening to. I immediately fell in love with her voice. I have to say this is only one of my favourites from Mahalia, all her songs are beautifully well-written and give happy vibes.



I've been feeling like I'm on a rollercoaster 
And I never wanna come down...
I wanna stay high up above the ground 
You bring the best in me out... 

Much love, Jen.

Begin Again

As my first post I thought I'd reflect on some important lessons I've learnt during some difficult times. I've come a long way in understanding the process of being self-aware and the importance of self-love. So here are 10 pieces of advice I wish I had listened to in the past/ still am constantly reminding myself in the present.

1. Heartbreak does not last forever 

I promise you, it might hurt now but it does get better. As cliche as it sounds... it's true. It took me years to learn this lesson and now I can confidently say that I understand why people would tell me this over and over. Just be patient and take your time. Cry it all out if it helps and then pick yourself up again. 

2. Don't settle for less

Whether it be a job, partner or whatever life has to offer, keep searching for something that truly makes you happy. Don't.Settle.For.Less! 

3. Know your worth

If someone makes you feel anything less than you deserve, leave! That is my only advice. Don't look back. Leave. If I could slap my past self  I would but instead I just laugh at how silly I was. It's a good feeling though realising how much I've grown and matured. 

4. Accept that people will leave your life

This is something I am proud of myself for being able to do. I've come to a point in my life where if someone leaves I will not ask them to stay. There's no point in begging for someone to stay, who decided to leave on their own... right?

5. Don't fill your heart with hatred
You will come across people in your life who will hurt you, but at the end of the day don't waste your time feeling bitter or negative towards them. Let the moment pass and move on from it because there are far more better things to fill your heart with.

6. "Being the better person" 
I'm not sure what being the better person means but for me I was always thought it meant forgiving someone that may have hurt you and allowing them back into your life. I've realised you don't always have to be the better person in every situation. It's okay to not want to forgive and you shouldn't have to feel the need to consider other peoples feelings especially if they don't consider yours.

7. Priorities
Always prioritise yourself first. I don't mean that in a selfish, inconsiderate stuck-up way. I mean it in a way where you shouldn't bend over backwards for other people to meet their needs. You have needs too so don't forget about yourself.

8. Care, but not too much
I've always had the problem of caring too much. It's just who I am as a person and it's something I'm trying to learn how to balance. It's great to care about people, but as the famous quote says "not everyone has the same heart as you", so you may end up disappointed.

9. Perfectly imperfect
We make mistakes after all we're only human. No one's perfect so don't try to be. In my case I've said a lot of things I didn't mean and I'm learning to forgive myself. Just always try to have the best intentions at heart.

10. You are enough!
You are more than enough. You do not need someone else's validation to prove your worth!

Much love, Jen.