Current room inspo

Lately I've been feeling the urge to change up my room (again). I blame pinterest! Whenever I scroll through it I get all these new ideas and save them for later. It eventually builds up and I end up having this entire list of decor I want to buy. For a few months I've actually been satisfied with the way my room looked. I would describe it as minimalist and chic. But I think it's time to add a few more accent pieces and I've been really feeling the boho look, such as woven baskets and rugs, plants, macrame wall hangings etc. I'll show you what I mean by inserting pictures of the things I hope to get soon.

1. Himalayan salt lamp

2. Macrame wall hanging pattern

3. Woven baskets

4. New bedding ( this is absolute goals)

The last two images were from - my.burleigh.reno on Instagram. I adore her style and I hope one day I can decorate my dream home with as much passion as she does. For now I'll just keep decorating my very tiny space of a room.

Much love, Jen.

Nothing but love

I feel incredibly blessed and happy with where I am mentally and emotionally in life right now. When you've been through the worst, you eventually learn how to pick yourself up and things suddenly become clear. A year ago, I was a completely different person... I felt hopeless, insecure and incredibly depressed because I felt like I lost the girl who I once was. After spending so much time on my own and being surrounded by the people that genuinely love and care about me, it was as if I finally felt like myself again. I was this happy, bubbly, glowing girl that never needed anyone but myself to feel loved!

I'm getting a little emotional writing this, but I am so grateful for my family and friends for never giving up on me, especially my parents. They had to see their daughter go through the worst and I feel so bad for putting them through that because no parent wants to see their daughter sad. And to my friends who always reminded me that I deserved the very best, I would never have gotten to where I am now without your love and support.

Life will never be perfect but it's the days where you feel grateful and content that makes it worthwhile. I may not be where I want to be in life right now, but I've always told myself baby steps... you don't need to accomplish everything all at once. It takes time. And to me being mentally and emotionally happy is my first accomplishment! Everyday I'm learning. And there's still so much more for me to learn. I've learnt that finding yourself takes time and we humans will always be a work in progress.

So this post is to remind me that I am doing so well and to keep pushing further and to not be too hard on myself because I will accomplish great things in the future!

Much love, Jen.

Sunrise

On the 31st of July I watched my first sunrise of 2018. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while but never came around to doing it... because 1.) I'm not really a morning person and 2.) I value my sleep, but I figured this one time will be an exception. My last memory of watching a sunrise was in primary school with my best friends. This was probably around 2005 which was a long long time ago - over a decade to be exact lol. I remember sleeps overs were a big deal in primary school, it was exciting and it meant no sleep just girl talk. And that's what we did... talked all night till it was eventually the morning. I vividly remember looking at the clock and telling the girls it was almost 5am. So we got our blankets, sat on the trampoline in the backyard and huddled up together watching the sunrise. It's a cute and innocent memory that I'll always remember.

Back to the present, the walk to Hornby Lighthouse was calming and refreshing. You're given a view of the beautiful ocean and once you're uphill you can see everything! I enjoyed it even though I was half asleep, it was most definitely worth it waking up at 5am. I sat on the rock in silence and just watched the sun glisten on the ocean. I felt at peace for the first time in days and for a moment it was as if all my worries were gone. Thank you mother nature for blessing this world with such beauty.

It was a beautiful morning and I'm glad I have another memory of watching the sunrise that I can cherish.

Much love, Jen.

Japan Diaries

It has almost been a year since I went to Japan and there hasn't been a day that has gone by where I haven't thought about it. I miss the culture, the food, the people and overall the feeling of excitement I'd get when I'm in a different country. I wish I wrote a blog post earlier to document my days but to be completely honest everyday in japan was a highlight and there was no dull moment! When people asked me how my holiday was, I would immediately light up with a smile and go on and on about how amazing and incredible it was and then I'd pressure them to visit Japan ASAP! 

I feel incredibly lucky to have travelled and experienced new things and it's a memory I'll never forget. As much as I'd love to go back and explore Japan, the downside is that it is pretty expensive (not unless you budget) but I had no self control when it came to food and don quijote. Trying different types of food is a MUST in Japan, from their fresh takoyaki, to their delicious matcha soft serves and you can't forget their mouth watering ramen. Ah... I'm sad all over again. There's just so many things to do in Japan that you'll never get bored. 

And so here I am, sitting in a Starbucks reminiscing my favourite holiday and almost about to cry because I'd rather be in the blazing heat eating matcha ice-cream and chasing geishas. I'll be back Japan, sooner or later! 

Much love, Jen.

Single (not) ready to mingle

It's been a while since I've written something so I thought I'd take sometime out of the day to sit down and write what's been on my mind. Lately, I've been having a lot of alone time and I'm loving it! When I say alone I mean not being involved with anyone or speaking to anyone, just being... well... single I guess? I decided to take as much time as I can to be on my own and enjoy my own presence. Even if it means turning down potential partners, I've learnt that it's okay to say no to people and to place myself first. Even if they could be the right person for me, I wouldn't want to waste anyone's time especially if I'm not fully committed to getting to know them romantically right now.

Love is a beautiful thing. Being in a relationship is beautiful too (if it's healthy of course). I guess I'm just at this stage where I feel like I can't give someone love until I can fully love myself, sounds a little cliche but that's how it is. When I'm interested in someone I've noticed I put in a lot of effort and time to the point where sometimes I forget about myself. Some cases I've been taken advantage of and friends always say "you're too nice". But that's besides the point, I think I just haven't met the right person that reciprocates the same amount of love as I do. It's so important to not settle for less than you deserve because life's too short and you should be with someone that loves you unconditionally. Here's a little quote that resonates well with this post:

"I hope you have a relationship thats real for once and you are sure of where you are in their life. I hope you're not a distraction or a past time or something to be used. But a love, a sweetheart, a muse. I hope you are something to somebody and that they are just as crazy about you as you are for them" 

I've had a lot of moments where I questioned where I stand in someones life and it's not the best feeling but that's already a sign you deserve better. So don't stress if you have to let go of some people, have faith there's something better out there for you! I understand how some people feel a little pressured to find someone especially when they're getting older. My only advice is to enjoy the time you have alone because you will learn a lot about yourself and that will help when you're ready for a relationship. I've learnt how to be a better daughter, sister, cousin and friend to important people in my life and it feels rewarding to be surrounded by people that bring out the best in me.

So make plans with your friends, do what you love and enjoy every second of this time being alone! I'd like to think that being your best self will attract the right person.

Much love, Jen.

Different timelines

The other night I caught up with a good friend over coffee... well actually frappes. We had this talk about where we were going in life and how sometimes we feel lost. I could relate to what he was saying because for years I never had time to focus on myself, there were so many chaotic things happening that I lost sight of what I wanted for my future. We compared our lives to other people such as our close friends and how they were successful in their career at a young age. After sulking for quite a bit and feeling down, we both came to the conclusion that it's okay that we haven't achieved what we wanted yet, because we're all living on different timelines.

Even though it's hard to not compare your life to others, it's important to remind yourself that we don't follow the same timeline. Other people may be successful early, and you might be a little slower than others but that's perfectly okay. I realised that we can't judge others based on their successes because what you have might be something they lack. Also, they worked hard for where they are so don't feel sorry for yourself instead see them as inspiration to work harder. I'm guilty of putting myself down and feeling like I'm left behind. I tend to think "I'm trying my best but why haven't I gotten anywhere yet?". I think it all has to do with timing. We experience different things at different times in our lives. What's meant to be in my life will come at a time that I'm ready for it.

There's all this pressure in society to land a good job, be in a relationship, get married, have kids, buy a house and so on. We're constantly bombarded with these ideal lifestyles on social media that we feel pressured to achieve all these things by a certain age. However, I've warmed up to the idea of taking my time and being patient with finding my career. There's only so much I can do and my number one priority this year is myself.

Much love, Jen.

What is your type?

A question that I've been thinking about and finally came up with an answer. First of all, the inspiration behind this question came from a reality television show called Terrace House. If you haven't seen it, it's basically a Japanese version of big brother (but more conservative lol). This is the first question the housemates would ask each other when meeting. I thought it was pretty weird to ask straight away but some of them were there to find love and others "a love worth dying for"... you'll only get that reference if you've seen the show. Anyway, I thought to myself wow I wouldn't know how to answer that question because I've never really had a specific type.

Reflecting on my past, I've fallen for guys that only knew how to sweet talk their way to my heart and I never thought of what characteristics I'd like in a person until now. As you get older, time becomes more precious and I think it's important to have some sort of standards. You're not going to date someone that treats you bad, you would want someone kind and caring (that's just an obvious example). So after some thought, I came down to 3 personality traits that are sort of deal breakers for me in the future:

1. Considerate of others
Someone that thinks about the rights and feelings of other people. It doesn't have to be just towards me but how they treat everyone around them as well - family, friends, a complete stranger.

2. Selfless
Someone concerned with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own; unselfish. This is really important to me because I admire people that are selfless. I feel as though you should do things for others without the intention of wanting something in return.

3. Family oriented 
My family means the world to me and in the future someone will eventually be apart of mine. It's important to me to have someone that values their family whether it be showing respect or spending time with them... will mean they will do the same with my family too.

There's a few more I could add but realistically speaking these are the most important to me. I'm not going to write a list of physical qualities because I've learnt that you may have the looks but do you have a good heart? And that's a wrap. If someone ever asks me what my type is I can confidently say - someone that is considerate of others, is selfless and family oriented.

Much love, Jen.

Begin Again

As my first post I thought I'd reflect on some important lessons I've learnt during some difficult times. I've come a long way in understanding the process of being self-aware and the importance of self-love. So here are 10 pieces of advice I wish I had listened to in the past/ still am constantly reminding myself in the present.

1. Heartbreak does not last forever 

I promise you, it might hurt now but it does get better. As cliche as it sounds... it's true. It took me years to learn this lesson and now I can confidently say that I understand why people would tell me this over and over. Just be patient and take your time. Cry it all out if it helps and then pick yourself up again. 

2. Don't settle for less

Whether it be a job, partner or whatever life has to offer, keep searching for something that truly makes you happy. Don't.Settle.For.Less! 

3. Know your worth

If someone makes you feel anything less than you deserve, leave! That is my only advice. Don't look back. Leave. If I could slap my past self  I would but instead I just laugh at how silly I was. It's a good feeling though realising how much I've grown and matured. 

4. Accept that people will leave your life

This is something I am proud of myself for being able to do. I've come to a point in my life where if someone leaves I will not ask them to stay. There's no point in begging for someone to stay, who decided to leave on their own... right?

5. Don't fill your heart with hatred
You will come across people in your life who will hurt you, but at the end of the day don't waste your time feeling bitter or negative towards them. Let the moment pass and move on from it because there are far more better things to fill your heart with.

6. "Being the better person" 
I'm not sure what being the better person means but for me I was always thought it meant forgiving someone that may have hurt you and allowing them back into your life. I've realised you don't always have to be the better person in every situation. It's okay to not want to forgive and you shouldn't have to feel the need to consider other peoples feelings especially if they don't consider yours.

7. Priorities
Always prioritise yourself first. I don't mean that in a selfish, inconsiderate stuck-up way. I mean it in a way where you shouldn't bend over backwards for other people to meet their needs. You have needs too so don't forget about yourself.

8. Care, but not too much
I've always had the problem of caring too much. It's just who I am as a person and it's something I'm trying to learn how to balance. It's great to care about people, but as the famous quote says "not everyone has the same heart as you", so you may end up disappointed.

9. Perfectly imperfect
We make mistakes after all we're only human. No one's perfect so don't try to be. In my case I've said a lot of things I didn't mean and I'm learning to forgive myself. Just always try to have the best intentions at heart.

10. You are enough!
You are more than enough. You do not need someone else's validation to prove your worth!

Much love, Jen.